24.3.12 | rebeginning

eventually, i’ll get the hang of this being vulnerable thing. bear with me.

since early 2021, approximately, i have generated at least three handwritten pages or typing out a some sort of self-motived writing for 25 minutes at around a daily equivalent. i only started tracking the daily aspect of it since last year. followers on instagram know my monthly story post of a photo in my bullet journal with two things, a checkbox tally for physical exercise and a grid full of stickers. the stickers are my gold stars for staying so committed to my writing practice.

multiple mentors of varying influence have been encouraging me to write more all of my life. it is probably nothing unique to me though, everyone should feel encouraged to write more, about anything. we all have so much to bear mentally and spiritually. then there is our goals and things we want to achieve in life despite the internal and external obstacles. in this short year thus far, i am genuinely surprised how much more i have accomplished by simply writing it down. i then spend a significant amount of time creating ways of tracking the steps that must be taken to arrive at my destination. that’s where the stickers come in.

my greatest strength and weakness is how solitary i am by nature. i am sure a lot more of that will come out in these writings. instead of coaches, i have stickers. stickers get my inner child to buy into whatever uncomfortable practice i am pushing myself towards that will ultimately improve my life as a whole. it’s also much more thrilling for me to pick out a unique, colorful sticker off its sheet than to simply x-out a box. i started a long time ago with a wall calendar and giving myself a sticker for exercise. this was especially helpful in the lowest lows of the pandemic lockdown. now i need a whole book to keep track of everything.

that is the story of how we got here. i have been attempting to build some sort of writing website for a long time. it is hard for me to share my personal writing. if i am going to call myself a poet or a writer though, i know need to learn from vulnerability. tending to my writing practice has taken many small steps and stickers to arrive at the point where i am (still un)comfortable enough to open the gates. this practice, and help from other resources like self-help books and writing podcasts, has taught me that something is better than absolutely nothing or refusing to come forward with an offering.

i am privileged to have this time to bear fruit with my creativity, and i am grateful for this first step in navigating a new phase of my artistic practice.

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